A "yes."

A plain and simple "yes."

That's all I asked God for last night after hearing a friend of mine say that teaching is the best profession ever. I've agreed with him for a long time...but I've heard so many negative things about it that I've been steered away from it over and over again.

Yes, the public school system is very quickly getting worse. Yes, it probably will be tough to find an art teaching position at a school. Yes, I will have to transfer schools and just about start all over. But yes, I can make a difference in the lives of students by simply having a "Ms. Gore" mindset...by sharing God's love with hundreds of kids in a classroom on a daily basis.

To be honest, public schools are where love is needed the most. I would know--I was there less than a year ago myself.

Last week, at one of my lowest points, I was writing in my prayer journal. This journal has a different quote or bible verse on every page, and when I flipped to a blank page before writing, this is what I found:

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
You are the one who'll decide where you go."
- Dr. Seuss

I know, I know...it's strange to come across a quote from Dr. Seuss that puts everything in your life into perspective. (I'm sure you were expecting an awe-inspiring verse from scripture!) But this verse really did it for me. You've heard the old cliche "God works in mysterious ways;" well, it's true!

My brain. My steps. My path. My life. My knowledge. My decision. My direction.

That's an awful lot of "my's," huh? That's what I thought too... All this time I've heard that God has a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11), and that God determines my path (Proverbs 16:9), and that God knows just what I need (Matthew 6:8). So it feels kind of contradictory to say that this decision is all mine. Because it's not all mine.

Yesterday in his sermon, my dad talked about the contradictions in the extremes of the beliefs of early Christianity. In it, he shared his view-point, a collaboration of both ideas, with the congregation: God ultimately knows what we're going to do in life, but he's given us a free will to choose. If we ask for help, he's going to give it to us...it may take some time, but our help comes from the Lord (Psalm 121:2).

So I'm not going to quit relying on God and make my decisions without consulting him first. But I am going to stop caring so much about the opinions of others and make this decision for myself. I've been blessed with two supportive parents and a wonderful church family, who happen to be praying me through each and every day of my life. No matter what I think, I'm not going to disappoint anyone. (Except maybe myself, if I don't do what I feel led to do.)

So the contradiction I felt disappeared when I read the following page of my prayer journal:

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand."
- Psalm 37:23-24 (NLT)

There's that encouraging scripture you've all been waiting for...and it is exactly that: encouraging! The Lord my God is directing my steps. I'm not making this decision, or any others, on my own. I've prayed and sought God's will with my whole heart. I've asked for guidance, wisdom, strength, courage, patience, and, finally, an answer.

Now, I just wonder if a "yes" can come in the form of cold chills and teary eyes...