Sometimes, I wish I had been one of those kids who knew all along what they wanted to be when they grew up, and then followed through with that plan. When I was young, I was told that the possibilities were endless...a teacher, a doctor, a nurse, a firefighter, a police officer, even the President - any person who had impacted my life.
Some kids grow up believing they want to be just like one of these people, because they have been directly influenced by them. But I realize now that if that were the case for us all, then our world would be full of the people we perceive to be influential. (Not that these people are bad by any means; they have devoted their lives to countless aspects of service, and our world wouldn't be the same without them in it.) However, if we all thought that way, then we would neglect the people who have never influenced us personally, but instead influence the rest of the world.
These people are the ones who serve those who don't have teachers, doctors or police officers... They go outside of their comfortable, first-world lives to give of themselves in ways that we may never see, but in ways that will most certainly impact the world.
So that's what I want to be when I grow up: Someone who is not concerned with time or ownership... Someone who doesn't have a set plan, because I'm too busy letting the Lord be my guide... Someone who doesn't mind (and is even ready and willing) to give up my comfortable life and my idea of needs in order to fulfill someone else's actual needs, both physically and spiritually.
When I grow up, I don't want to be the kind of person who makes an impact on the here and now, but rather the there and future. I don't need to be perceived as influential by anyone but the One I am serving.
This is what - or rather, who - I want to be when I grow up.
"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand."
- Psalm 37:23-24 (NLT)
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
You lead, I'll drag my feet...
This morning in church, I was reminded yet again how weak and inadequate I am. The worship leader read scripture from Exodus, describing the Israelites' complaints as Moses led them out of slavery in Egypt.
It's funny to think, really, that the Israelites would be complaining about gaining freedom. It doesn't make complete sense; yet, under the circumstances, we can begin to understand why...
"When Pharaoh drew near, the people of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they feared greatly. And the people of Israel cried out to the Lord. They said to Moses, "Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness."
- Exodus 14:10-12 (ESV)
Alright, so the people didn't want to die in an unknown land. They would rather be slaves in a known land for the rest of their lives than journey into the unknown. They wanted to stick with the known, as horrible as it was, instead of allow the Lord lead through Moses. So look at Moses' reply to them...
"And Moses said to the people, "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.""
- Exodus 14:13 & 14 (ESV)
In all of their fears, God was in control. He didn't need their help...He didn't need them to drag their feet...He just wanted them to be silent. Although they couldn't see the unknown, God could, and He wanted them to find freedom in Him. Right after this, God let them catch a glimpse of that freedom - He parted the Red Sea, and His glory was made known to the Israelites.
They didn't have to trust Him, but they did. The chapter goes on to read:
"Israel saw the great power that the Lord used against the Egyptians, so the people feared the Lord, and they believed in the Lord and in his servant Moses."
- Exodus 14:31 (ESV)
So imagine this...the image of a father, patiently holding the hand of a small child. The child is tugging the dad's hand here, there and everywhere - anywhere but the direction her dad is leading - while dragging her feet at the same time. This is the image that came to my mind this morning in church: my Daddy, leading me His way as I continue to pull against Him.
When this came to me, it was such a powerful picture...because I realized how true it was.
I know deep down in my heart that His way is the right way. I just continue to get distracted by the things the world tells us are important. I get distracted by what I want and forget that He knows the path so much better than I do.
In a world that strives to be like the Egyptians, we have to be like the Israelites. Not the Israelites who weren't sure of God's power and control, but the Israelites who saw God's power and believed in Him.
We are Israel. We are hopeless to the things of this world, yet we have been given an everlasting hope in the Lord. We are children, in need of the guidance and leadership of our Father. We can't see the whole path, yet we don't have to, because our Daddy is leading us down it. We are an imperfect people, forgiven and loved by a forever PERFECT God.
It's funny to think, really, that the Israelites would be complaining about gaining freedom. It doesn't make complete sense; yet, under the circumstances, we can begin to understand why...
"When Pharaoh drew near, the people of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they feared greatly. And the people of Israel cried out to the Lord. They said to Moses, "Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness."
- Exodus 14:10-12 (ESV)
Alright, so the people didn't want to die in an unknown land. They would rather be slaves in a known land for the rest of their lives than journey into the unknown. They wanted to stick with the known, as horrible as it was, instead of allow the Lord lead through Moses. So look at Moses' reply to them...
"And Moses said to the people, "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.""
- Exodus 14:13 & 14 (ESV)
In all of their fears, God was in control. He didn't need their help...He didn't need them to drag their feet...He just wanted them to be silent. Although they couldn't see the unknown, God could, and He wanted them to find freedom in Him. Right after this, God let them catch a glimpse of that freedom - He parted the Red Sea, and His glory was made known to the Israelites.
They didn't have to trust Him, but they did. The chapter goes on to read:
"Israel saw the great power that the Lord used against the Egyptians, so the people feared the Lord, and they believed in the Lord and in his servant Moses."
- Exodus 14:31 (ESV)
So imagine this...the image of a father, patiently holding the hand of a small child. The child is tugging the dad's hand here, there and everywhere - anywhere but the direction her dad is leading - while dragging her feet at the same time. This is the image that came to my mind this morning in church: my Daddy, leading me His way as I continue to pull against Him.
When this came to me, it was such a powerful picture...because I realized how true it was.
I know deep down in my heart that His way is the right way. I just continue to get distracted by the things the world tells us are important. I get distracted by what I want and forget that He knows the path so much better than I do.
In a world that strives to be like the Egyptians, we have to be like the Israelites. Not the Israelites who weren't sure of God's power and control, but the Israelites who saw God's power and believed in Him.
We are Israel. We are hopeless to the things of this world, yet we have been given an everlasting hope in the Lord. We are children, in need of the guidance and leadership of our Father. We can't see the whole path, yet we don't have to, because our Daddy is leading us down it. We are an imperfect people, forgiven and loved by a forever PERFECT God.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
A Slap in the Face
Every once in awhile, you need a good slap in the face.
Not literally (although it may not be such a bad idea!), but figuratively. It can come in the form of a person telling you something you don't want to hear, or through the realization that everything you wanted to happen is not, in fact, happening.
For me, though, it came straight from God. My Father, my Husband, the giver of all that I have, my Savior and Redeemer, slapped me in the face today. He reminded me that I am controlling, and even more than that, I am manipulative. How's that for a slap in the face?!
Let me explain... Nowadays, more than ever, I am constantly seeking Him, which is a great and glorious thing. But whenever I seek Him, I seek the things that I want to seek. I ask Him to provide for me in ways that will help me rather than hurt me. I try to manipulate His plan and form it into something that I want. I forget that I am not the leader, but He is. I forget that sometimes He has to bring me to my knees before He can pull me up to stand. I forget that many times He has to carry me, like a child, until I can walk in His way.
In the last few weeks, my Daddy has shown me that. He's reminded me that while I think I have it all together - while I'm spending so much time writing in my prayer journal, digging into my Bible, staying involved in church and campus ministries - I really do not. He has reminded me that I am weak, and I am in need of carrying. And He is constantly reminding me that I am incompetent of staying one step ahead of Him, or even walking beside Him, for that matter.
"Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God."
- 2 Corinthians 3:5
Obviously, I'm not capable of leading myself and relying on His plan at the same time. It's impossible for anyone to be. So this is where we must make a choice.
Do we maintain control and constantly burden ourselves until we physically can't handle any more? Do we keep pushing for our idea of perfection until one of two things happen: we receive it, or we are overwhelmed trying to achieve it?
Or do we lay everything - our time, our possessions, our plans, our dreams, our lives - at the foot of the cross and entrust it all to God? Do we put our competence in Him, and believe without a doubt that He will provide not what we want, but what we need?
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
- Ephesians 3:20-21
You see, whenever you're not too busy trying to manipulate God's plans (like me!), He is patiently waiting for you to let Him into your life. Not only is He willing to take control, but He wants to take control! He wants to carry His children, so that we will admit our weakness and admire His strength.
And, sometimes, a slap in the face is the only way to make us see that our approach is all wrong.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
My Husband & My Daddy
I have a confession to make. I am an avid Pinterester. I know, y'all didn't see that one coming. But the DIY-er in me comes out the moment I log in to my account. I have my food board, my art board, my project board, my quotes board...and yes, I even have my "would-be" wedding board.
I'm not that crazy planner who has every last detail already figured out...but I do enjoy fantasizing about what my wedding might possibly look like. The dress, the cake, the food, the table settings, the venue...it's a lot to think about, but the possibilities are endless.
And then I realize that there's one crucial thing missing: the groom.
And that, or rather he, is the detail I have yet to imagine. As with the dress and the cake and the food and the table settings and the venue, there are endless possibilities as to whom this man could be.
But he's not someone I sit around daydreaming about. In fact, I think he's the part that scares me a bit. It scares me to think that he could be someone I already know...or someone I won't meet for years...and then what seems like the scariest thought of all is that there may not even be a he.
I could be called to a life of singleness. And that, my friends, is where I believe God is trying to get my attention.
The Bible speaks of the Church being the "Bride of Christ." I, for one, think this is a beautiful image. But what is even more beautiful, to me, is the thought of Christ as my husband. I know, this doesn't make sense at all. After all, God has always been our "father"...how can He be both father and husband?
This is what God's Word has to say...
"For your Maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is his name - the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth... For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back... Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
- Isaiah 54:5, 7, 10
Up until just recently, I had never heard that God is my husband. But after reading these verses, it all makes perfect sense to me. God desires a deep and intimate relationship with me...the same that I should be longing for with Him. He is jealous for me. HE is jealous for ME. That thought absolutely amazes me...that this perfect, flawless King takes me, as sinful as I am, and loves me regardless of my imperfections and flaws! And He wants to be my husband. He wants me to be consumed by Him. His love is endless and unfailing. He won't stop loving me whenever times get tough, or a situation seems too much to handle. He won't let emotions get in the way, because He's too caught up in me already! God makes for the perfect husband.
"I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord."
- Hosea 2:19-20
His feelings will never dim. He says so Himself! In righteousness, justice, love, compassion and faithfulness - He will betroth me in all of these things!
So now my Pinterest board seems irrelevant. My dreaming and scheming seems uncalled for. My quest for "Mr. Right" seems ridiculous...because He is right here in front of me. He's already holding me tight and kissing my forehead. Even when I wish that I could really feel His arms around me, I can feel His peace. He has taught me to be content in Him...content in my singleness.
And if the time comes that He wants to bring an earthly man into my life, who can lead me in my walk with Him, then I will be content in that.
I'm not going to lie - I've already started writing to this mystery man. I write to tell him that he must be something special if my Daddy - and now my husband! - is willing to share me with him! I tell him what I see in him. I tell him why I've waited around for so long, and why I've refused to settle.
So whether this is just a season of singleness, or I'm in it for the long haul, I am content to weather this life with Him. Because if my God is for me, then who can be against me?
I'm not that crazy planner who has every last detail already figured out...but I do enjoy fantasizing about what my wedding might possibly look like. The dress, the cake, the food, the table settings, the venue...it's a lot to think about, but the possibilities are endless.
And then I realize that there's one crucial thing missing: the groom.
And that, or rather he, is the detail I have yet to imagine. As with the dress and the cake and the food and the table settings and the venue, there are endless possibilities as to whom this man could be.
But he's not someone I sit around daydreaming about. In fact, I think he's the part that scares me a bit. It scares me to think that he could be someone I already know...or someone I won't meet for years...and then what seems like the scariest thought of all is that there may not even be a he.
I could be called to a life of singleness. And that, my friends, is where I believe God is trying to get my attention.
The Bible speaks of the Church being the "Bride of Christ." I, for one, think this is a beautiful image. But what is even more beautiful, to me, is the thought of Christ as my husband. I know, this doesn't make sense at all. After all, God has always been our "father"...how can He be both father and husband?
This is what God's Word has to say...
"For your Maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is his name - the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth... For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back... Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
- Isaiah 54:5, 7, 10
Up until just recently, I had never heard that God is my husband. But after reading these verses, it all makes perfect sense to me. God desires a deep and intimate relationship with me...the same that I should be longing for with Him. He is jealous for me. HE is jealous for ME. That thought absolutely amazes me...that this perfect, flawless King takes me, as sinful as I am, and loves me regardless of my imperfections and flaws! And He wants to be my husband. He wants me to be consumed by Him. His love is endless and unfailing. He won't stop loving me whenever times get tough, or a situation seems too much to handle. He won't let emotions get in the way, because He's too caught up in me already! God makes for the perfect husband.
"I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord."
- Hosea 2:19-20
His feelings will never dim. He says so Himself! In righteousness, justice, love, compassion and faithfulness - He will betroth me in all of these things!
So now my Pinterest board seems irrelevant. My dreaming and scheming seems uncalled for. My quest for "Mr. Right" seems ridiculous...because He is right here in front of me. He's already holding me tight and kissing my forehead. Even when I wish that I could really feel His arms around me, I can feel His peace. He has taught me to be content in Him...content in my singleness.
And if the time comes that He wants to bring an earthly man into my life, who can lead me in my walk with Him, then I will be content in that.
I'm not going to lie - I've already started writing to this mystery man. I write to tell him that he must be something special if my Daddy - and now my husband! - is willing to share me with him! I tell him what I see in him. I tell him why I've waited around for so long, and why I've refused to settle.
So whether this is just a season of singleness, or I'm in it for the long haul, I am content to weather this life with Him. Because if my God is for me, then who can be against me?
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Cinderella & Hebrews...
"A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
A rainbow will come shining through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true"
You might not recognize these lyrics outright...but just imagine Cinderella singing them in the classic Disney movie. Soft, mellow voice. Birds chirping in the background. It seems a bit hard to believe, right? Dreams are the stuff of fairytales.
Maybe.
That's what I grew up believing, anyhow. Did you ever wake up from a really great dream before you got the chance to finish it? I have too many times to count. And the only logical thing to do in that situation always seemed to be to go back to sleep. Usually instead of forcing the rest of the dream out though, I ended up with a blurry vision of how I wanted the dream to end. And as wonderful as it was having my fairytale ending, it wasn't nearly as exciting as seeing how it was supposed to pan out.
But maybe the dream part isn't what I'm wanting to focus on here. Maybe it's the faith part.
Hebrews 11:1 tells us:
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
It's hard to believe that Cinderella and Hebrews can relate. But maybe, just maybe, they can.
Faith is defined as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. We must have faith in order to believe that the future God has promised us is real. And it is real. God has big plans for our future, so long as we trust Him with our plans rather than try to create our own "fairytale ending."
His Word tells us that we live by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). It also tells us that the testing of our faith produces perseverance (James 1:3).
The long-term benefits of a faithful walk with Christ might be hard to see right now. I know, for me, they are. I long so much to rush God's plans. I've always been this way. But I've also always been good at waiting, especially in the big stuff.
While Scripture says that we must have faith that God is working everything together for our good (Romans 8:28), we must also remember that it says faith without works is dead (James 2:26). So what does this mean for us? It means that just sitting around waiting, praying, living a faithful life isn't enough. It's not enough to have a dead faith with Jesus Christ. It's not enough to read your bible and go to church and pray before every meal. It's not enough to have your daily "quiet time" with God. No, faith requires action. We cannot sit around waiting for God to do something great and wonderful in our lives without giving our all towards His Kingdom in the meantime.
John Waller's song "While I'm Waiting" sums up what we are to do in the meantime...
"I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait
And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting, I will serve You
While I'm waiting, I will worship
While I'm waiting, I will not faint
I'll be running the race, even while I wait..."
While I'm waiting, I will be fervent in my prayers. I will learn to walk closely by His side, because I have come to the realization that a life without Him is not worth living.
I will serve Him while I wait...with my time, my actions, my life. I will go where He leads me, not out of obligation, but out of obedience - out of love.
I will be patient when I can. And whenever I cannot, I will lean on Him to get me through.
His Word reminds us:
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
- Romans 12:12
I will place my faith in Him and His goodness.
The thing that I want to wait on - the thing that I am hoping for, the thing that I cannot see - is not, in fact, a thing. It's a whom. The person I want to wait on has a lot of growing to do. He has a lot of potential to be the incredible man of God that I know he wants to be. But it's going to take more than just some time. It's going to take God at the center of everything in his life. And that is where I start praying and supporting him. That's where I start serving and worshiping God while I wait for what seems like a miracle...
I care about this person in a way that could be conceived as selfish. Try as I might, I want my dream to end my way. I want to hold on to what I started out with before I woke up. But in the back of my mind, I also want what's best for my friend. I want God's best for him.
I don't want to settle. I refuse to settle.
With the endless possibilities of endings to my dream, how could I rely on the one ending that I choose. It simply doesn't make sense. I must have faith that God's ending is a beautiful one. I must patiently wait, with the hope that He will provide exactly what I need (though that may not be necessarily what I want). If the Author and Perfecter is writing my story, how can it be anything but glorious?!
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
A rainbow will come shining through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true"
You might not recognize these lyrics outright...but just imagine Cinderella singing them in the classic Disney movie. Soft, mellow voice. Birds chirping in the background. It seems a bit hard to believe, right? Dreams are the stuff of fairytales.
Maybe.
That's what I grew up believing, anyhow. Did you ever wake up from a really great dream before you got the chance to finish it? I have too many times to count. And the only logical thing to do in that situation always seemed to be to go back to sleep. Usually instead of forcing the rest of the dream out though, I ended up with a blurry vision of how I wanted the dream to end. And as wonderful as it was having my fairytale ending, it wasn't nearly as exciting as seeing how it was supposed to pan out.
But maybe the dream part isn't what I'm wanting to focus on here. Maybe it's the faith part.
Hebrews 11:1 tells us:
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
It's hard to believe that Cinderella and Hebrews can relate. But maybe, just maybe, they can.
Faith is defined as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. We must have faith in order to believe that the future God has promised us is real. And it is real. God has big plans for our future, so long as we trust Him with our plans rather than try to create our own "fairytale ending."
His Word tells us that we live by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). It also tells us that the testing of our faith produces perseverance (James 1:3).
The long-term benefits of a faithful walk with Christ might be hard to see right now. I know, for me, they are. I long so much to rush God's plans. I've always been this way. But I've also always been good at waiting, especially in the big stuff.
While Scripture says that we must have faith that God is working everything together for our good (Romans 8:28), we must also remember that it says faith without works is dead (James 2:26). So what does this mean for us? It means that just sitting around waiting, praying, living a faithful life isn't enough. It's not enough to have a dead faith with Jesus Christ. It's not enough to read your bible and go to church and pray before every meal. It's not enough to have your daily "quiet time" with God. No, faith requires action. We cannot sit around waiting for God to do something great and wonderful in our lives without giving our all towards His Kingdom in the meantime.
John Waller's song "While I'm Waiting" sums up what we are to do in the meantime...
"I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait
And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting, I will serve You
While I'm waiting, I will worship
While I'm waiting, I will not faint
I'll be running the race, even while I wait..."
While I'm waiting, I will be fervent in my prayers. I will learn to walk closely by His side, because I have come to the realization that a life without Him is not worth living.
I will serve Him while I wait...with my time, my actions, my life. I will go where He leads me, not out of obligation, but out of obedience - out of love.
I will be patient when I can. And whenever I cannot, I will lean on Him to get me through.
His Word reminds us:
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
- Romans 12:12
I will place my faith in Him and His goodness.
The thing that I want to wait on - the thing that I am hoping for, the thing that I cannot see - is not, in fact, a thing. It's a whom. The person I want to wait on has a lot of growing to do. He has a lot of potential to be the incredible man of God that I know he wants to be. But it's going to take more than just some time. It's going to take God at the center of everything in his life. And that is where I start praying and supporting him. That's where I start serving and worshiping God while I wait for what seems like a miracle...
I care about this person in a way that could be conceived as selfish. Try as I might, I want my dream to end my way. I want to hold on to what I started out with before I woke up. But in the back of my mind, I also want what's best for my friend. I want God's best for him.
I don't want to settle. I refuse to settle.
With the endless possibilities of endings to my dream, how could I rely on the one ending that I choose. It simply doesn't make sense. I must have faith that God's ending is a beautiful one. I must patiently wait, with the hope that He will provide exactly what I need (though that may not be necessarily what I want). If the Author and Perfecter is writing my story, how can it be anything but glorious?!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)